A Year On

By Darya Short

This time last year, every time I planned to write an update, something war-related interrupted me and then I wondered if it should be added to the update or not, another siren and bomb shelter run, the list of abductees grew as more information came to light, the forensics revealed more abominable finds, the ever-growing number of our soldiers were being lost in a war they never asked to be in, there was an announcement of a hostage being found alive and freed by our forces, and there was the incredulity of worldwide ignorance and shunning of truth, and the surge in blatant and overt antisemitism.

That has changed only slightly, but life has also continued.

I was in Jerusalem for a day of professional development; training underground below the Old City of Jerusalem. In the words of our lecturer, it provided a bit of “escapism” from the realities. I found myself distracted at times because even though I was safely underground in ruins that have been found still intact, still standing after 2500 years, my Red Alert App was clearly stating the fact that at home, I would still be hearing booms, and the news told me of homes being hit indiscriminately by heavy-duty rockets from every direction. Nevertheless, it was good to meet with my colleagues and friends. It did feel a tiny bit ‘normal’ for a brief time.

People have asked how we are, and even a year later, it’s hard to put it into just one word. “Okay” doesn’t ring true, and neither does “fine” but maybe you’ll get a glimpse of what it’s like for me from this “Did you know when you’re in a war…?” list.

Did you know that actively staying alive is exhausting?

Did you know that adrenaline takes a while to wear off?

Did you know that while you’re making sure you’re safe you are simultaneously wondering how everyone else is coping whether it’s your daughter and grandchildren, neighbours in your building, and the safety of the hostages?

Did you know that even when you’re trying to deeply inhale, it feels like you aren’t breathing enough? Same with exhaling.

Did you know that you can grieve for people you’ve never met and love strangers for how they’re selflessly giving of themselves?

Did you know that it’s possible to take a shower in stages?

Did you know that you can experience all the emotions in every minute of every day?

Did you know that you can appear to be completely functional on 3-4 hours of sleep a night, but you know you’re not even fooling yourself?

Did you know that you can ache for every mother who has lost a child or has no idea where her child is, that you can be in anguish for every abducted soul whose parents, siblings, children, grandchildren, spouses, friends, and loved ones don’t know if they’re dead or alive or what kind of lives they will have after they’re freed, if/when that happens?

Did you know that splashed tears that have dried on spectacle lenses don’t come off with a microfibre cloth?

This hideous war, also being called by some the 2nd War of Independence one year on, truth be told this exhausting conflict is well into its third millennium. It might seem like what’s happening now is something new, but we have been dealing with a blood-thirsty foe that has taken on all shapes, forms, and identities since our Nation was formed and we came to live on this Soil over 3000 years ago.

Various Canaanite groups, Philistines that came from across the Aegean, ancient Persians, Babylonians, Greeks, Romans, Umayyads, Abbasids, Crusaders, Ayyubids, Mameluks, and then the Turks again in the form of the Ottoman Empire have all tried to rid this Land of the Jews. Under the British Mandate, we were on the receiving end of an ugly and unfair share of slaughters as the Empire with their greedy aspirations led them to cave to pressure as they courted the wealthy oil-rich neighbours who had previously shown little to no interest in this territory.

The hate for our people has not been confined to this piece of real estate, mind you. We have been expelled from Biblical times to the present from Assyria, Babylon, Rome, Egypt, Minorca, Spain, Medina, Mainz, Spain (again), Morocco, Bavaria, France, Majorca, Naples, England, Switzerland, Hungary, Italy, Portugal, Nuremberg, and I’m not even at the 17th century yet. Did you know that in 1862, Ulysses S. Grant expelled Jews from Tennessee, Mississippi and Kentucky?

The 1880s saw the start of the pogroms in Russia, and in 1917 the Ottomans expelled Jews from Jaffa before their empire crumbled and new borders were drawn up by the British and French. The British were even preventing us from coming back. My own maternal grandparents were in a DP Camp in Cyprus before fighting their way back to develop the barren land and cultivate life and growth where there was nothing.

I won’t go into all the details of the Holocaust from 1933 when we were expelled in our millions from Germany, Austria, Poland, Siberia, Verona, Florence, Pisa, et al. and those who didn’t get away were rounded up and killed in a barbaric genocide.

Between 1947 and 1972 we were either brutally killed or driven from the Arab lands in North Africa and the Arabian peninsula, about 600,000 of those who were expelled were able to return home to Israel, and it appears we are still returning to Eretz Yisrael, the Land of Israel, today because of the rise in antisemitism around the world. The attacks on us because we’re Jewish have not ceased.

You’ve only heard about the fact that we put up protection barriers, but the reasons for that are not remembered. The number of homicide bombings decreased by 92% after we started screening our enemies when they were allowed in.

They got creative and started using vehicles to ram into pedestrians waiting for the bus, and little children on their way to school. One of their tactics is stabbing, but also gunning down civilians in private cars.

Not to mention the rockets…

Basically, we are hated not only for who we are but also for where we live.

And here, today in our precious Homeland, the ones who hate us are still trying to erase us; launching arsenal from every border; with promises that they will keep trying. The attacks have been coming from within Samaria and Judea, home to our people from the time of our Patriarchs. RPGs, ATG rockets and missiles have been flying at us from all directions, including Syria, Iran, Iraq, Lebanon, the Gaza Strip, and Yemen. The projectiles from that far away take so long to get here, they are neutralised before they are a danger to us, but they want their vitriolic Islamic Resistance voice to be heard too.

It must be noted that in that mix we have rival groups and factions who hate each other (and kill each other) but are united in their shared goal which is to eliminate the world of Israel; the People and the Place from the River to the Sea.

Our son in Reserves was allowed home. It was for less than 24 hours, but still. It involved him travelling from his base, getting home, ordering take-out of his choice, getting his hair cut and beard trimmed, visiting us, getting big hugs, and enjoying a family evening together, returning to his home, and then back to base early the next morning. I sent him off with brownies. The few hours we had together were really special. He let us know how he was coping with the 16-hour shifts and told us about the amazing donations that have been brought in for the troops in abundance. The closest McDonald’s donated burgers to them a few times. The staff of that branch are mostly not Jewish. Win for co-existence!!

One of his friends from a very specific unit that goes into combat zones to retrieve victims saw all the atrocities of the massacre and it affected him so badly, that he was evacuated out of the country because of severe PTSD.

I think that we all have some degree of PTSD. We’re quite jumpy with outside noises, very aware of any car door banging, any distant booming, being very aware of our family and friends in other parts of the country still under fire, and I still avoid looking at footage of the horrors of that day. I did get a glimpse of something on a link someone sent without a warning and all this time later, I still can’t get it out of my mind. It’s just horrific and I can’t imagine how it must be for those who not only survived it but those who saw the aftermath.

We continue to meet our neighbours because of forced bomb shelter visits, but with the successful work of our defence forces destroying rocket launching sites in Gaza, that has come down to almost zero. Now, our bomb shelter gatherings are because of the Houthis in Yemen, the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps in Iran, and Hezbollah in Lebanon.

What has not changed since that fateful day is that we are still so grateful to everybody for messages of support, care, concern, generosity of heart, and all-round solidarity.