March 2026

Prayers and Passages: A Rite Of Passage: Becoming a Jewish Adult

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By Cheri Weiss

Nichola stood at the podium poised and confident, ready to begin her Bat Mitzvah

ceremony. Over the previous months, she had studied hard. We had engaged in profound

conversations on a variety of topics including Torah, mitzvot (commandments), and what it

meant to her to be a young Jewish adult in today’s world. She had selected some of the prayers for the morning’s service from those I had shown her, opting for those that spoke to her heart.

The Torah verses she read aloud from the open scroll were also of her choosing. Nichola had read and analyzed her Torah portion (parsha), Shemini, writing and presenting a brilliant Dvar Torah (interpretation of her reading). Her pervading theme was mindfulness: How a lack of mindfulness led to the death of Aaron’s sons, Nadav and Avihu. How the laws of keeping kosher (kashrut) are meant to keep us mindful of what we eat. Expanding on this theme, Nichola emphasized the importance of being mindful of the resources we need to live, cautioning us not to consume or even purchase more than we really need. Conservation, compassion, and sharing were ideas she imparted to those of us fortunate enough to be present to hear her words of wisdom.

This beautiful ceremony took place in the family's backyard, where trees stood tall, the sun was glorious, and birds chirped sweetly. A small group of relatives and friends watched as Nichola was called to the Torah for her Aliyah, recited the appropriate blessings and selected Torah verses, and officially became a Bat Mitzvah, a daughter of the commandments.

While there is no Biblical commandment specifying the age at which a child takes on the

obligation of observing the mitzvot, the rabbis of the Talmud determined that for boys the age is

thirteen, and for girls it is twelve. This is when children were believed to have the capacity to

understand morality, conscious choice, and reason. Until those ages, parents bore the

responsibility for their children’s actions.

The transition to Jewish adulthood does not actually require a ceremony to mark the

occasion. Sometime in the Middle Ages, however, this rite of passage (for boys) began to take

hold. It began with a father’s single prayer thanking God for relieving him of responsibility for his son’s actions. Over the centuries, a young man’s participation in the ritual increased, and he

began to read from the Torah, chant the corresponding portion (Haftarah) from the Prophets,

present a teaching, and lead some parts of the service. In 1922, Judith Kaplan (daughter of Rabbi

Mordecai Kaplan, founder of Reconstructionist Judaism) was the first young lady to have a Bat

Mitzvah ceremony in the United States. This opened the door for other young women to

celebrate this milestone with a Bat Mitzvah ceremony of their own.

A Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony may take place anywhere: a synagogue among the

congregation, or in a more intimate setting with only family and close friends such as a private

home or outdoors in nature. However a family chooses to honor this milestone, offering children

the opportunity to accept this mantle of Jewish adulthood is a beautiful gift, one they will carry

with them for the rest of their lives. In these sacred moments, families pass along Jewish values,

traditions, and spirit L’dor vador—from one generation to the next.

 

L'Chaim

Mazel and Mishagoss: “Be Our Guest, Be Our Guest” (The Passover Version)

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