On November 7, 2012, I was sitting in my room and I had a thought which I decided to write down and share on my facebook page:
“Dear parents, new parents and parents to be, remember: When we were young, we never cared what car daddy drove or what watch mommy wore, all we cared about was how much time we got to spend with them. Looking out the window waiting for them to come home or the opportunity to play together, that is what your kids want and will want, along with love, time, devotion and the feeling that you will always be there for them; big house or not. We work so hard to give our young generations what we think they need, but if we rewind the clock and realize what we needed, then we can give them exactly what they need to never stop smiling!”
I don’t remember why this came to my mind or what I was thinking at the time. I do however remember wanting nothing more than to be with my family and spend quality time with them when I was younger.
As we grow up we get more serious and responsible in an effort to bring about success in our lives. We forget what it’s like to be childlike and enjoy being outdoors, just playing with our family and friends. We forget to laugh, we forget to be creative, and we forget to smile at the simple things; like a butterfly or silly putty.
Today I smile at the fact that I will soon have the opportunity and the blessing to be a father and the words I wrote more than two years ago remind me of the father I want to be. I am scared and nervous to bring a beautiful baby into this world but I know that time and love is the key. Not just time together but quality time where I am totally present.
Yet, the word “time” has become stressful to think about. We say things like, “I wish I had more time,” “There is not enough time,” and “I ain’t got time for that” when we are bring funny.
Some people teach that being busy and stressed is the road to success; that being saturated with work is what creates wealth. I think about the lesson I want my future child to learn; that being happy and in the moment is the true key to success.
So how can we be fully present? We put our phones down when we are having conversations. We can talk about our feelings and emotions and not dwell on our homes, our cars or the material things we want to buy. We can talk about our goals and our vision for our future as opposed to dwelling in the past and being stuck with things we cannot change. We can look into our loved ones eyes and speak the truth as opposed to being afraid of being judged and withholding what is in our hearts. We can hold each other and comfort each other when times get rough and smile and laugh together when they are great. We can love each other fully and unconditionally.
I was told that the greatest love in the world is that of a child to a parent. With that in mind, my goal for this year is to be the man I envision myself to be by upholding my values and creating an example of happiness to my family. Today I challenge you to be the person you want your kids to be; to spend as much quality time with them as possible, and to show them love, compassion, and most important, understanding.