October 2024

Mazel & Mishagoss: How Famous Characters React to Shabbat!

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GoldiLocksBerg (Fairytale) I’ve just lit the Shabbos candles on my lovely table and after taking a closer look, I’ve decided the first flames are much too dim, so I’ll light another set. Oh dear! These next flames are burning much too bright–they’re blinding my eyes. But the third set of candles I lit are….just right. So I’m off to make my matzo ball porridge for the three Bearblums.

Scarlett O’Cohen (Gone With the Wind) Fiddle-dee-dee! Where are my two Shabbos Goys, Mammy and Prissy? I need Mammy to make my waist eighteen inches again so I can wear my modest Shabbat ballgown made from certified Kosher draperies. And I want Prissy to help me with birthing babies and the bris! Oy gevalt, I wonder where that dirty scoundrel Rhett Butlerstein is tonight? Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn… where he goes or what he does. I can’t think about that today. I’ll think about that tomorrow. After all…tomorrow is another (special!) day – because it’s Shabbos!

Johnny Castlestein (Dirty Dancing) Whoa, is it Friday night already? I must go to shul to start Dirty Davening. After that, I’ll practice a dance routine with my mambo partner to the tune of Hava Nagila. And finally, I’ll pick up my grandmother from the retirement home where she’s shvitzing alone, in the middle of two walls because…(wait for it!) “Nobody Puts Bubbe in a Corner!”

Willy Wonkabrahams (The Chocolate Factory) You shouldn’t exchange money on Shabbat, everyone knows that. But nobody said anything about redeeming a Golden Ticket! Come with me and you’ll be in a world of pure imagination. That’s my favorite song, but here’s what we sing in the chocolate synagogue….”Gilly, Gilly, Willy Willy Good Shabbat. Mini met minimet, mini mini mini met….speaking of mini, have you met the Oompa Loompas yet? They’re ten lovely little men who will make a perfect minyan. Uh, strike that…reverse it!

Dorothy Galebaum (The Emerald City) When it’s time for Shabbat, there’s just No Place Like Home! That’s why I’m on a mission to track down the Wizard of Oys so he’ll send me back to my sweet old Auntie Em. I got a bump on my keppie, causing me to meet that mashuganah Wicked Witch of the West. I’ll be sad to leave all the little people known as Menschkins though.

Motel the Tailor (Fiddler on Roof) Even a poor tailor is entitled to attend a Shabbos dinner (in his future father-in-law’s little hovel) without being intimidated to ask for his daughter’s hand! If I could just obtain a new sewing machine I could manifest the most beautiful challah cover ever. No more handmade items! “Good Shabbos Tevye! I promise your daughter will not starve!”

Lucy Ricardoman (I Love Lucy) Hello Friends! I’m your VitaMeataVegaMin girl. Are you tired, rundown, listless, unpopular? Do you poop out at parties after Havdalah? Well don’t drink this stuff because it’s traif! But Shabbat Shalom and tell Ricky not to shout “Lucy, I’m home!” because I’ll be taking a Shabbos nap. It’s exhausting making a commercial when you’re drunk.

Winnie The Poohwitz (Disney) I love Shabbat, it’s true! But what I love even more is Rosh Hashana because apples and….don’t make me spell it out for you….HONEY!

Maria Von TrappLevi (Sound of Music) Shabbat is lovely because when I sing, “Tea…a drink with jam and bread” we all know the bread is Challah! But I bet you didn’t know my new favorite things? Raindrops on Roses and Commandments from Moses. Cooking your briskets and baking strudels, blessing the wine and kugels with noodles. Wearing a tallit and counting the strings, these are a few of my favorite things!

 

L'Chaim

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