February 2018

Mazel & Mishagoss


Being a quirky party planner, it’s never a surprise to my family when I announce I’m throwing a fun celebratory shindig that features something completely out of the ordinary. Purim this year will be no exception. I’ve waited many months to unveil my newest creation which I like to call, “Hamentalkin’ Hamentashen!”


That’s right, traditional Purim treats that display fun little messages inside! Because why should the Chinese people get all the communicative cuisine with their fun fortune cookies? And who says Saint Valentine gets the monopoly on the “sweet stuff that speaks” just because he invented those candy conversation sweethearts, which by the way taste like chalk?




Are you with me so far on this clever Purim cookie? Because I think I’m gonna make an absolute fortune on the idea, no pun intended! What Jew wouldn’t listen to a message that was transmitted through his traditional holiday dessert? You’ve heard it said that, “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” right? Well I’m about to test this theory with various Purim party guests of all ages and genders by serving scrumptious traditional pastries (in the shape of a bad guy’s hat) with cleverly written slips of paper baked inside that will put Post-It Note writers to shame.


And just think of all the various options you can incorporate. In fact, in order to get my house nice and clean prior to the perspective above-mentioned party, I tested the concept out on my six kids by baking up a batch that were chore-themed. After dinner, my children each received five apricot, raspberry, and poppy-seed filled Hamentashen and (before the novelty of opening the clandestine cookie messages could wear off) I found my kids doing exactly what the delicious flaky dough dictated. “Empty the kitchen trash!” and “Dust the living room furniture!” and “Wipe down our patio chairs!”


The possibilities are endless. Any Jewish woman (worth her weight in flour!) who wants to make an important announcement (Birth of a baby? Engagement or wedding?) during the holiday can put a bunch of these “Hamentalkin’ Hamentashen” in a little basket and deliver them as creative Mishloach Manot. It was actually the perfect way for me to inform all our friends about my son’s upcoming 13th birthday as it came quite naturally to combine the ancient Chinese Fortune-Teller into my Purim cookies by typing out the cute message, “Cohenfucious Say: Little Boy become Big Man at Bar Mitzvah!” But before you ask, “What in the world does Chinese culture have to do with Judaism?” perhaps you might recall where you ate dinner this past December 25th, hmmm?


Here are some other little bombs I’m planning to drop to my shocked invitees as they unsuspectingly enjoy their Hamentashen this year. “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks – We’re getting a Golden Retriever puppy!” And, “You can’t build a new house with old bricks – We’re moving!” And “You can’t get rid of an old louse with a quick fix – our six kids have lice!” Oy vey, well maybe I won’t exactly announce that last little tidbit to our Purim party guests because it might be a really tough cookie to swallow. But then again, why not? You know what they say . . . “That’s the way the (Hamentashen) cookie crumbles!”


Stephanie D. Lewis writes humor for The Huffington Post and at OnceUponYourPrime.com and you can reach her at TheQuoteGal@yahoo.com



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1 Comment

  1. What a gem! Delightful! Laughed so hard I need a botox fix.
    Very original and super sweet. To anyone who disagrees, ‘In your hat!’

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