By By Stephanie Gittleman
My non-Jewish neighbor recently remarked that Jews turn any little thing into a cause for celebration … and a catered one at that! Being a party planner, I can’t deny this. “Low-key” Jewish events are just a myth. That’s because in Judaism, if something happens—and you’re still alive afterward—it qualifies for a big festivity. Examples: A baby boy is born: Party! The baby survives eight days: Bigger party with a slightly terrifying ceremony! This same baby turns three and has never met a scissors (First haircut, gifts, candy, photos, possibly a DJ!)
Other cultures have milestones—birthdays, weddings, graduations, Etc. Jews, on the other hand, focus their energy on the “Etc. We put out a delicious (potato pancake) buffet because a candle burned longer than expected. Wheat or barley harvested? Whoop it up! Someone found parking near the synagogue? Shout, “L’Chaim, to life!” In fact, Jewish history consists of a series of events where something almost went wrong, but luckily didn’t—and now it requires candles, food, blessings, and a detailed explanation of what once occurred that lasts even longer than the event itself. It’s been said, “They tried to destroy us, we survived, let’s eat!” Well sometimes they didn’t even really try to destroy us—we just FELT like they might’ve. Still counts!
Found a Torah? Party! Finished reading the Torah? Bigger party! Finished reading it and immediately started over? That’s Simchat Torah—singing, wild dancing, and mayhem, causing someone to definitely drop a siddur!
How can you tell Jewish revelry is taking place? a) There’s food b) There’s more food than necessary c) Someone complains there isn’t enough food! As a party planner, people call me to organize an event over sheer mishagoss and the tiniest of minutiae. My phone rings for: “A small, intimate simcha” (300 people!) “A simple meal” (requires uplighting and set design!) “Just family” (anyone who’s ever met the family is on the guest list!) Some specific reasons I’ve been asked to organize an affair include a son finishing his vegetables, (balloons shaped like broccoli!) a granddaughter eventually chose a college (Not committed. Chose! Tiramisu was served before she changed her mind!) A mother-in-law admitted she was wrong, (I insisted on written proof before booking the venue on that one!) First time an infant slept through the night (the parents snoozed through the entire gala brunch!) Finally replaced the roof (insurance deductible themed décor!) A great-grandma figured out how to do FaceTime. (But she still never looked at the camera during the entire live-streaming luncheon!)
Every Jewish client of mine begins by saying, “We don’t want anything over-the-top.” This is usually said while simultaneously describing custom engraved napkins and asking about ice-sculptures. Nothing says restraint like an 8-piece live band.
So it wasn’t surprising when my aforementioned gentile neighbor said they were emulating our people by celebrating the “little things in life.” Would I listen from my backyard to see if they were doing it right? Sure! No problem at all! (I reminded her that bad things NOT happening are also perfect reasons to rejoice.) While they swam and BBQ’d, I overheard someone say, “Nobody hit their head on the bottom when they dove! Let’s party!” Another adult added, “And nobody drowned from cramps because you didn’t wait an hour after eating! Yay!” Followed by, “We cooked over an open flame and the house didn’t burn down.” I shouted “Mazel Tov” over the fence. Next, a parent told a child they were celebrating teeth-cleaning and NOT having cavities! But when the child said he wanted to go to dental school, I realized they’re almost ready to convert! I think I’ve proved that we Jews love to commemorate oil, haircuts, sleeping, and functional smartphone apps. But if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to celebrate this article getting written before my deadline. And yes, I will be serving a huge platter of chocolate rugelach!
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