By By Cheri Weiss
Our family was recently blessed by the birth of our first grandchild, Owen. When my daughter Emma was born, I experienced a profound maternal love (and still do) unlike any other love I have ever experienced. Holding baby Owen in my arms for the first time, I was overwhelmed by the intensity of love flowing through me for this little boy. When he looked into my eyes, I felt enormous gratitude to God for giving life to this precious child, and I prayed to the Divine to always watch over him as he grows.
The responsibility of parents to teach Torah to their children is made clear in the first paragraph of our Sh’ma prayer:
“You shall love God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might. Take to heart these instructions with which I charge you this day. Impress them upon your children, and recite them when you stay at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise up.” — Deuteronomy 6:5-7
The Torah serves as our roadmap for leading ethical lives, and parents therefore have an obligation to ensure that their children are taught its lessons. Parents teach their children Torah not only through formal Jewish education, but by exemplifying the Torah’s values and morals in their own daily lives. The Talmud also stresses the importance of teaching Torah to children, advising that if one is unable to do so personally, a tutor should be retained. (Kiddushin 29a)
But what about grandparents? Do they have any particular responsibility in transmitting Judaism to their grandchildren? The Torah says they do. During Moses’ final speech before turning over the reins of leadership to Joshua, he stresses the importance of telling the story of the revelation at Sinai to future generations: “But take utmost care and watch yourselves scrupulously, so that you do not forget the things that you saw with your own eyes, and so that they do not fade from your mind as long as you live. And make them known to your children and to your children’s children.” — Deuteronomy 4:9
Grandparents have the same obligation as parents to model ethical behavior, help those in need, study Torah, and pass along Jewish traditions. Rabbi Jonathan Sacks (of blessed memory) notes that while there are often tensions between parents and children, this is generally not so in the relationship between grandparents and grandchildren. Children may misbehave, and their parents will discipline them accordingly. Grandparents, however, are generally free from this responsibility.
In Genesis 48:20, as Jacob lies close to death, he blesses not only his son Joseph, but Joseph’s two sons as well: “By you shall Israel invoke blessings, saying: ‘May God make you like Ephraim and Manasseh.’” This is the only known blessing of grandchildren in the Torah, and it emphasizes the importance of the grandparent-grandchild relationship.
As Owen grows, I will be aware that he is watching me: how I celebrate Shabbat and Jewish holidays, how I honor our traditions, study Torah, and contribute to the community. By fulfilling the mitzvot (commandments) of our people, I hope to set a positive example that Owen will want to emulate, make an integral part of his own life, and pass along to his own children and future generations.
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